Friday, July 27, 2012

It's ok, to not be ok.




It's ok, to not be ok.

A person's initial response to feeling low is to fight it, you kid yourself. Pretend like everything's ok, you can handle it. Because you can't afford to not be at 100%, too much depending on you-- this is bad. You go through your days as if you're fine, trying even harder at what you do to get some type of self-fulfillment. If I can just do this....obtain this thing, or whatever, I'll be fine. But you usually end up failing because your mood is off, so it effects your work ethic. effects your behavior. Try to do more and things get worse. Then ontop of that, no matter how good you think you are at hiding it the people close to you sense something is wrong...and it grieves them. This is probably worst of it.

That's why I think it's good for people to allow themselves to breakdown. it's good for you. You have to stop trying not to be weak, and remember that you're human. We all go through these hi's and lows, knowing the right decisions to make during these times makes all the difference. So take the time out and put yourself in self-repair mode. If you don't, things will get worse and you'll end up breaking down anyway. Not saying to be quick to throw in the towel, just if you're getting your ass whooped don't pretend like you can win the fight with the same strategy you had when you entered.  



This seems irrelevant, but I recently had a talk about patience with a close friend of mine. I personally hate patience, and feel it's a weak emotion. Only thing that comes to a patient man is time loss and bitter cheese.

My argument was, are we patient because we feel this is the right tactic? or because we have to? because we lack the power/ control over our lives and have no choice but to wait on something else to take action and decide our decisions for us. because we have no choice but to sit and wait, not because we want to. I believe majority of us follow this thought. Then, there's a handful of people who have enough power to where they can make decisions irrelevant of 3rd party actions. but they choose to be patient because this is there way of life. Because this is what they feel is the best decision.

Random, right? yeah, but my point of this is after we had this talk he told me something about myself. He said, "you're never amused, but you're always polite", and I couldn't agree with him more on this comment.


I am Denzel Allen

this is my blog 

and IamInRepair

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Indian She Devil



The tittle doesn't make sense now...but it will....it WILL. This will be the first of some of the many adventures of Denzel and Fadi. Whenever we're together random ridiculous things happen. Even though I'm always the one trying to help people and he tends to be the bad guy, somehow he ALWAYS manages to make it through story unscathed. before I get into this story I guess I should formally introduce him....

He looks like this:






Talks Like this:











And, acts like this:


now that's out way....It was the beginning of the fall semester and you know what that means--FOOTBALL



It was the first game and we were going up against UCLA, it was kind of a big a deal to us. I mean...EVERYONE goes to the first game. I meet up at my brother fadi house for he can escort us on out-- Muslim friends make the best designated drivers. Before we go he says he has to go by this girl's apartment and pick her up. Her name's SHREYA...I had met her once previously, she seemed cool....and her apartment was 10min away from campus so I was like "whatever".

lemme tell you something about SHREYA.

She looks like this:



Talks like this:


And acts like this:






So we get there and it's only a matter of a few minutes before her apartment turned into a club. Had bottle service, loud music, strobe lights-- the works. Just lounging around doing what normal college kids do before a game. Pre-gaming, listening to music, pretending we know how to cook, lying about our GPA's, dry humping inadament objects-- huh, what? why would someone hump an inadament object? yeah....about that

See, as I was exploring her apartment I came across her bedroom. Now, this was by far one of the most comfortable beds I've ever seen. lemme explain. When you see a nice a car, you want to test drive it. When you hold a good pair of shoes, you want to try them on. I saw this bed-- and my brain said HUMP....HUMP like you've never HUMPED before. and that's what I did...I dry humped the shit out that mattress!!


After about a good 10minutes of humping I realized I was utterly alone....so I went to search for my camel riding companion. Turns out it was medicine time because they were both perched out on the padio not doing a damn thing....but smiling really hard. see, my friends suffer from a crippling case of glaucoma, and I just wouldn't be a good friend if I let them go unsupervised. 

And this is where things turned into an episode of that 70's show. I mean, all the characters were there.






We had the crazy cute girl:



 The Horny Foreigner:


and me, the sarcastic Dork:








We were having so much fun we almost forgot about the Game. We ended up leaving shreya behind because the vodka had knocked that poor girl right out. She said she'd meet us up there and we were just like "coool!". We didn't want to bring sand to the beach anyway.

maybe it was because I was under the influence--BUT, my bro fadi and I had a bonding experience out this world. and we've had a lot of gay moments together so that's really saying something. We're in the car driving to the game and we just feel GOOD. we already had girls waiting for us at the game so our phones are just blowin up...Fadi's driving for me because he won't let me drive drunk. I think he even told me he loved me! pandora's playing all our favorite songs....then "alive" by P.O.D came on...and we just started JAMMING.

I even stuck my head out the window!!



So we pull up in a parking spot, a pretty damn good one too. And Fadi starts putting on his school I.D badge, ya'noe, cause all students get in free. He's on his phone telling someone how we'll be right up, meanwhile I'm pulling out my wallet for my school I.D....pulling out my wallet...... pulling out my wallet.......WHERE THE FUCK IS MY WALLET!!???

Pat my pockets. check back pocket. under the car seat. open up the car door and look under the car. no wallet. ladies and gentlemen--- SHIT JUST GOT REAL!! Fadi and I are just really upset because we got there in perfect timing, but we cant get in if I can't find my wallet. when could I have possibly lost my wallet...it obviously fell out, but when?? 



Then it hit me............










AAGGHH!! I'M SUCH AN IDIIOOOOOTTT!!!!!

calm down denzel-- remember, Shreya said she was meeting us up here. call her now, maybe you can catch her before she leaves. *sigh of relief*

Oh wait-- the bitch isn't answering her phone!! AGGh!! This is where I started thinking the WORST. I was like, "oooh, that skank!". she probably ditched us on purpose!! She probably had a date today, and just needed to get rid of us for she could get dressed and leave. Or what if she was in the middle of having smokin hot sex, right now!! I just started losing it.

Luckily, my better half fadi, chilled me out. said, "look denzel, we'll just drive back and get the wallet. it's only 10min away". He was right. I was over-reacting. 

So we put the pedal to the metal and drove back in complete silence. lemme tell you, no one in the history of mankind has ever sobered up as fast as we did that day....such a buzzkill. We get back to her place and we're knocking on the door for a good 8 minutes straight-- and no ones answering.

So we move over the pool area and I'm depressed as shit. I just wanted to free fall into the deep end of the pool. Then I peek over my beach chair and I'm just glaring away at this patio door when something sinister occurred to me. see, Shreya lives on the first floor.....so her patio is facing the pool. I happen to know that no one EVER locks their patio door, and there's only about a 5ft brick wall separating me from it. i'm BLACK-- I jump fences all day. so this would be cake for me.....but is it right??

I turn to fadi in these great times of moral conflict, because ya'noe, he's so morally just. and he just gives me the look...








 That's all the confirmation I NEEED!! so I hopped that shit like a runaway slave.





Now, I figured there could still be a chance that this girl was still in here. like i said, she could be in the middle of passionate hot sex and I do NOT want to walk in on that. So I slid open the patio door (which was unlocked as suspected), poked my head in.....and screamed her name like a japanese porno. That's very loudly for those of you who don't watch asian porn.


















No answer? coooool!!
I started going through her apartment like an old episode of MTV's roomraiders. I checked the kitchen area, living room, patio, her roommates room....everything. Just one room left-- her room. The place where the magic happened and my stupid pelvis got the best of me.Her door was closed, so I pushed it open slightly and peeped through the crack to make sure it was safe. can't be too cautious. I peeped through and saw lying on the floor, the shirt she was wearing that day, her bra, and some shorts. So i'm like, cool-- she really did have a date today. probably changed and got picked up a long time ago.

So I bust open the door and started scouring the bed for my wallet. She just had so much junk on her bed, and like a thousand and one covers. So I got frustrated and just flipped the entire cover up to save time.

































                  FUCK FUCK FUCKIDY FUCK!!!


omg.I probably screamed out the words "fml" about a thousand times in my head. I flipped the cover up and saw this little silhouette of a body wiggle under the cover and start to wake up. I swear I've never dropped into the feeble position so fast in my life. I could not believe this was happening. what did I get myself into!?

rest assure, there was no need to worry. you are forgetting one important fact here-- I'm a G.

So I played it cool. Improvised......











  Ok, so I panicked.

It was the best I could come up with one a split 3 second notice. bullshit you not, It actually worked. For a moment...she thought it was all a dream and started going back to sleep. had my game plan all worked out. I was gonna crawl my ass back to the door, leave the way I came, and get the FUCK outta there. That is, until she came to her senses and realized something was up.

At this point I realized I should come clean and show myself. I'd imagine waking up to weird sounds and suspecting someones in your home would be pretty terrifying, and I didn't want to scar her for life. So I was like....










You know those moments where you think things can't get any worse......................



















                 .....And then they DO


Yeah, apparently if you cut your electricity off and sleep in your bed butt-ass-naked it saves on your light bill. fun fact.



Anyhow, like 20 minutes later I leave out the front door. Fadi sees me leave through the front door, and shreya waving me good bye and is just like....




I told him I really didn't feel like going into it and told him that I just wanted to go.

He says, "cool then, we should still be able to make the game".

me: "no, we're not going to the game"

Him: "why not!?"






Me: "Because I STILL don't have my wallet...".

after that statement, I was pretty much obligated to tell him the full story, in which he replied-- "you mean you went through all of that, and you STILL didn't find what you were looking for!??"

pretty much.

after that, he then asked me something that kinda stuck with me. He said it in a way only fadi could say it too.




















No, I didn't have sex with her!!
I just wanted my wallet.  Getting my money, banking cards, and personal Identification back was the only thing on my mind. funny thing is, whenever I tell this story.....everyone asks me the exact same question. at the exact same part....it makes me feel like IM the one with the messed up priorities. 

well, after having the best day gone bad, this is where your real friends come to play. I told Fadi I didn't mind dropping him off at the game and picking him up later, but he refused. He's my bro, so he took it upon himself to take care of me that day. He really went all out, he decided to show me how much he cares, how much he values our friendship.




He took me to Mcdonalds......







Here, he consoled me.
Bought me a 20 pack of nuggets and we sat and had our nice "grown man" conversations. good little talk about religion, life, funny stories, and stories of him riding camels and throwing rocks from his childhood past times. It was nice. 

I remember I had visited my dad that weekend. Now, my dad is a big sports fan, so he knew how big of a deal this day was for me. I remember when I got back home the first thing he said was--

"so how was the game, son?"

I looked at him real hard.....as if I was looking through him. Then I took a deep Sigh, and just walked into my room.








I am Denzel allen


This is my blog

and IamNEVERhumpingInadamentObjectsAGAIN!!!

Friday, June 15, 2012

You ain't got no sugaah??

Somewhere down this journey of life I found myself in the very rural suburban lands of Pearland, Texas. I mean, it's nice....if you're not brown. To best describe it, it's kinda like watching an episode of 90210 while reading the adventures of tom sawyer in huckleberry fin.....at the same time. 







Anyhow, a guy get's pretty hungry in laguna farms. When I'm hungry, I like to go to wingstop. one, because they have the best tasting fries I've ever set my lips on. Two, because it's located directly across from my apartments. I go there at least once a week, and yes, i'm one of those guys who orders the same thing every time. This is not because i'm afraid of change, I just know what I want.

Completely random, but I think one of the rudest things ever is when someones checking out at the cash register and they're on their phone. The cashier just kinda has that look on their face like, "really?", then there's that awkward moment of waiting for them to finish the conversation for they can have this exchange of goods. that being said....















What? I can't help it! It's like as soon as you get in line someone messages you with the juiciest gossip ever, or some random girl sends  you a smiley face.  Anyone who knows guy code, knows that if a girl sends you a smiley face you're kinda obligated to reply back. It's funny too, cause whenever i'm in these situations I always make it appear as if i'm rushing though my conversation. Or I'll shove my phone in my pocket and look super attentive as if to over compensate for my rudeness. 

Whatever. Cashiers don't have souls-- anyhow. 

I ordered what i always ordered, #2 combo with a tea, and the girl ask me "sweet or unsweet". she says this and in my head i'm like, "what good customer service you have. how thoughtful, because i would of forgot to say sweet". I would of took a sip of some unsweetened tea,  spit it out, then I would of had to slap somebody. cudos. 

So I tell her, "sweet tea, please :)", and she responds in the sweetest little voice. 












*sigh*

I spent like 6 seconds trying to think of a way to respond to that without starting off my comment with the word, "bitch!".

why would she do this to me? I mean...she knows we're in the south...she sees the brown skin, OBVIOUSLY, I love my sweet tea. so why? understand, in her telling me "we don't have any sweet tea" she mine as well of said, "the apocalypse is coming and you only have 24hrs to live-- starting 22hrs ago." wtf?

I was so angry...I just wanted to throw her in the air and do some Dragon Ball Z shit to her.















 







 Dust my hands off and call it a day, right? nah, I'm not that barbaric.




I kept it cool. I mean, I'm sure it wasn't her fault. It's just a bunch of leaves mixed with water and sugar. Then above all things, I'm a nice guy. I was raised to have manners. SO...I shrugged if off and just calmly said.....









JOKING.

I'm not that mean of a guy. who do you take me for, a cave man? That's just what I was THINKING of saying. I know how to filter my thoughts out to something reasonable. Like I said before, I'm a "nice guy", I have manners. So what I really said was....








 see. I didn't say "fuck" this time <--- makes me a nice guy :). 

and the response to follow....



 











 -___-". *sigh*


you see, I have this thing when I talk....I speak in a very sarcastic, mono-toned voice. So, no matter what I'm saying, it just comes out sounding funny. And half the time, I'm really not trying to tell a joke. When I say things like, "yes you deserve to die, and I hope you burn in hell", I actually mean, "I think you deserve to die and I hope you burn in hell". There's no punchline...no underlying moral...I just don't like you. But...people just laugh at it anyway.smh.

I took this opportunity to shrug it off and let her make it. Like i said, it's just a bunch of leaves mixed with sugar and water. Then secondly, the cashier was kinda cute...so that adorable over bite of hers saved her on this one. I just got the second best thing to sweet tea, lemonade, grabbed my cup and sat my ass down on the bench while I waited for my food.

I don't know why, but a disturbing fact didn't hit me until like 5 minutes after I got to my seat. When I went to get my cup, I saw a employee in the back pouring a container of sugarless tea in a already half full unsweetened tea container.....while it was sitting right next to an EMPTY sweet tea container.





Now, I'm not CEO of wingstop. I'm not in the fields with those asian people pickin baby tea leaves, BUT...wouldn't common sense just tell you....  









I am Denzel Allen

this is my blog

and IamVERYthirsty.......